Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It's time to admit it.

I'm not sure if this is the right time to do this, as I only started blogging yesterday and all, but it may be time for my first big bombshell. A sharing of a deep, dark secret to bring me even closer to the four of you that are reading this. Something that, if the world knew, they'd only believe what my friends, bandmates, and family believe - that there is a point when metrosexuality becomes "should have been born a woman".

Okay, deep breath. Here we go.

In some ways, I'm a pretty manly man. To paraphrase Denis Leary, I like baseball, porno, and books about war. I can tell you who won the AL batting title three years ago or what military battalion scaled the cliffs of Pointe-du-Hoc during the invasion of Normandy. That said . . . I love Project Runway. I mean, I really, REALLY love every single drama-laden, bitchfest, "make it work" moment of Project effing Runway. There. I said it, and I feel better.

To defend myself immediately from the various insults and innuendos that this can bring, I love any show or situation where I can watch people create things that I cannot. I have the art of playing and writing music pretty down pat, but watching someone whip up a four-star meal (Top Chef, anyone?) or sew a runway-worthy outfit in less than a day is wildly entertaining to me. At my core, I just love to see creative people succeed under extreme duress and elevate themselves and their art form to a whole new level.

I also like to see women and gay men say terrible, terrible things to each other when they think no one is looking. That may be human nature, or there may be some prescription medication in my future. Time will tell.

In the interest of pure honesty, however, I have to reveal the true reason why I would watch Project Runway for the rest of my life, on any channel, even if I had to pay for it. I have a platonic, but very real, man crush on this man:

Yes. Tim Gunn, y'all.

It's a very defensible man-crush. He is possibly the best dresser on the planet, he redefines class and etiquette, he seems to genuinely want to help and appreciate every single person on the show, and defend them from the Teutonic Evil that is Heidi Klum. Lastly, the man could probably bed anyone on the planet. I think he makes the Most Interesting Man in the World look like an unshaven barbarian, fit only to go on Tim Gunn's Guide to Style to learn how to dress and talk to girls.

So, there it is, for all four of you to see. I'm sure all this has earned me is gay jokes and jibes about my manliness (which go together all too often, and will likely be fodder for a more serious post in the future - I HATE that shit). So, slings and arrows found at the bottom. Let me have it, or stand up and just fucking admit that Tim Gunn kind of makes you wish you owned a better suit.

1 comment:

  1. Wow Pat. That's.... pretty interesting stuff. And I promise not to make fun of you, because I am addicted to Army Wives.

    And Tim Gunn may be older than my dad, but damn, I'd probably do him.