Tuesday, November 9, 2010

American Beauty?

I know, I know. I just blogged. I'm still enjoying the novelty, and I just noticed something I thought was worth discussion.

So, I went out to smoke a cigarette get the mail and take the trash/recycling out, and as I was sorting out the mail, I noticed my upstairs neighbor Heather had gotten two Victoria's Secret catalogs. Being a red-blooded American male and having time to kill as I smoked a cigarette, I decided to flip through the one that didn't seem to be dominated by super-expensive jeans and winter coats. What can I say? I like the articles.

As I was unabashedly ogling these beautiful women (and marvelling that women actually spend what they do on a goddamn bra), I noticed something. This was the whitest group of women I have EVER seen. There were blonde, Scandanavian women. There were swarthy, brunette Italian-types. I think one girl had some Irish features and red hair, and she was the exotic one. End of list.

Why is this? Can someone explain this to me?
There was a sort of token black girl, who was so light as to be more akin to an exceptionally-tanned and prettier-than-average cast member on The Jersey Shore. No dark-skinned black girls. No Asians. No Middle Eastern or Jewish girls. It looked like the Republican National Underwear Convention.

Is this really indicative of American beauty? Are these the only women we're allowed to masturbate to when the Internet isn't working see cavorting in expensive panties? Am I alone in thinking this is just broken and weird?

As a mission statement, I will say this: I love, love, LOVE women. This is not solely a sexual statement, nor is it just because they are often so much better at things that I am terrible at. It's not just physical in nature.

I like being around women. I like the break from the undercurrents of machismo and posturing that goes on in a group of men. I like that women aren't afraid to say what they're feeling, once they are comfortable with you. Women also smell better. It's just science.

That said, I am astounded that there are people who just cannot see how beautiful a woman is, because she is African or Vietnamese or Iranian. I cannot believe that white skin, blonde hair, and giant mammaries are the only benchmark for what we should find attractive as Americans.  Am I taking crazy pills, or can we all benefit from a little more diversity in our spank bank description of beauty in this country?


  1. To be fair, some of those women are technically Latino, being of Brazilian ancestry. But they're the whitest Brazilians they could find.

  2. Completely my point. They are the whitest version of every type of girl there is. I just wonder if they'd sell more underwear if people of other races felt better represented.

  3. Okay, I wrote this really awesome, long comment about bras being expensive and how much I spent on each one that I no longer wear and blah blah blah...and then something about how Victoria's Secret had this beautiful African American model with these amazing cheekbones that made me want to draw mustaches all over her pictures because I was jealous...but then I got an ERROR 503 message and it was lost...

    So I'm just going to say that you shouldn't steal your neighbor's catalogs.

    And I'm sorry about your domestic issues.

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, rest assured this was the far more humorous response!

    And in my defense, I didn't STEAL it. I just borrowed it while I was smoking on the porch. No harm, no foul.