tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post2449030393304411985..comments2011-03-22T20:27:45.492-07:00Comments on Me and Saint Sebastian: Men Are From Mars (And other dumb cliches)Patrick Swifthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17316732383760587530noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-59903183021567094852010-12-18T08:51:48.030-08:002010-12-18T08:51:48.030-08:00I gotta say Pat, I don't think you're seei...I gotta say Pat, I don't think you're seeing things clearly at the moment, which is completely understandable. You're going through a rough time. <br /><br />Human beings seem to primarily be monogamous, at best for life, at worst, serial monogamy, but the latter is usually an attempt at the former. Based on the fact that this is the case the world over (with very few exceptions), we have to assume that this isn't just cultural. <br /><br />I'm personally very happy I got married, but more so that I married who I did, someone who is a great partner for me in life, and who matches my values, but who is different enough in temperment to keep things fresh. (Although check with me in a few months when I reach the 5-year mark.) I think its important to share a basic agreement on what to value in life, but there should also be a significant difference. Two identical things do not well make a whole, only two halves can do that. As one of my favorite novels has it "love is the mystery between two people, not the identity." (The Magus, by John Fowles)<br /><br />So why do so many couples split up? Why are they so unhappy with each other? Honestly, I think the answer is the same reason that so many businesses fail, or why so many people, single or married, are unhappy. That is mainly poor judgment. People marry for the wrong reasons (ahem...), marry people that are completely at odds with them at the very basic level of value, or people that are too similar (things get boring). Is it unrealistic expectations that do them in? Sure that too, but all a unrealistic expectation is is a poor judgment about the future.<br /><br />Is there any value in monogamy? I can't say "yes" strongly enough. It might not be the right time, and you may not be ready (another problem), but there is value there waiting. Sure, men and women are different. We see the world slightly differently, there's a different pull of instinct. But we are fundamentally the same - human beings, and our differences are not opposing forces, but complementary and mutually supportive. I believe we are at our best when we recognize the natural interdependence of the sexes, and harness this mystery into a lasting partnership.<br /><br />Cheer up man, just because things are in a bad way right now, it doesn't mean it'll be like that forever. There's another girl out there right now, just waiting to nag you, and maybe even for the rest of your life!David Robleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00340705798039809743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-90504847856883720832010-12-17T14:12:23.789-08:002010-12-17T14:12:23.789-08:00My grandparents have been happily married for...th...My grandparents have been happily married for...thirty some odd years. I can't remember the exact number of years. I can barely remember how old they are. My grandfather is sixty... That's a long time.<br /><br />Is there value in a monogamous relationship? Well, marriage isn't for everyone, and a lot of people who get married today get married for the wrong reasons. But if there's hope for a happiness like my grandparents, then hell yeah, I'd like to hope one day I could find happiness in marriage. Many years from now. When I'm like...thirty. And no children. Children complicate marriages and put a strain on financial resources. It's best to just get a dog.Chanelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18159248995263246944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-70495741953059834682010-12-17T07:39:05.368-08:002010-12-17T07:39:05.368-08:00Let's be real here. This isn't a case of m...Let's be real here. This isn't a case of man vs. woman, this is a case of one human vs. another human. Words are shitty and worthless things sometimes for communicating, and we all live trapped inside our own heads, never able to really get into another person's mind. That is the essential conflict of all human social interactions.<br /><br />But then we also have 4 billion years of evolution screaming, "REPRODUCE, PROCREATE, SPAWN." Think about that... 4 billion years worth of your ancestors all had kids. Consciously bucking that trend can be incredibly difficult.Ten Ninjashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00823120205166077997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-6468518734423882732010-12-17T00:58:00.624-08:002010-12-17T00:58:00.624-08:00"Fierce invalids home from hot climates"..."Fierce invalids home from hot climates" by Tom Robbins, EMPHATICALLY.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14635138037934769776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-74909103924056114662010-12-16T21:41:55.734-08:002010-12-16T21:41:55.734-08:00Nothing is more obnoxious to hear than the truth, ...Nothing is more obnoxious to hear than the truth, Andrew. Also, from you, it's often less easy to hear. You don't exactly put layers of cushion under your conversational tightropes. =)<br /><br />Kris - I Googled that, read the Wikipedia entry, and now I MUST read this book. I have never heard of that author until now, which I'm sure is quite terrible and does nothing for my supposed "literacy".Patrick Swifthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17316732383760587530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-56085840175036943622010-12-16T21:11:03.596-08:002010-12-16T21:11:03.596-08:00Remember when I told you that EVERY love song that...Remember when I told you that EVERY love song that isn't fantasy in the first place is written about a relationship that ended not long after the song in question was penned - because art is wish fullfillment? You seemed kind of pissed.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14635138037934769776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7963507916907038267.post-45324126140421788512010-12-16T21:03:54.889-08:002010-12-16T21:03:54.889-08:00Still Life With Woodpecker
-Tom RobbinsStill Life With Woodpecker<br />-Tom RobbinsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com